Sharon Turner, LMT
28 Years of Massage create great stories!
People often say nice things to me about our massages together, but they never get around to writing a review. So I’ve resorted to repeating some of the nice (and funny) things they’ve said over the years. Such as:
I visited an elderly woman from Kentucky who was dying in the hospital. (In fact she died the following day.) She was so nervous and anxious that she couldn’t sleep, which only added to her anxiety. As I sat next to her, gently rubbed her back and talked softly to her, she fell asleep. When she woke up an hour later, she smiled languidly at me and remarked “Them thar ole boney fingers, they shore do a body good!”
From an 85 year old woman: “You know, this is the best thing that I do. I think this is why I’ve lived so long.”
Yesterday a woman said to me, “Did my mother tell you what happed to her? Last time you gave her a massage, she was so relaxed that she stopped at a stop sign on the way home and fell asleep! The man behind her had to honk his horn to wake her up!”
I have a client who has been coming about every week for the past 24 years. He likes to say to me, “Sharon, you’re the best massage therapist I’ve ever had!” I reply, “Bernie, how would you know? You sleep through every massage!” “Well, he says, I know how I feel when I wake up!”
From a man who likes deep massage: “Boy you’re strong!” “I’m sorry, is that too hard?” “No….no….no…..” “Boy, you have strong hands!” “Is that too hard?” “No….no…...no…..”
A client named Fran once said to me, “Sharon, you’re like Terri Gross; (an interviewer on Fresh Air), You don’t have a set agenda; you just follow where the energy goes.”
Fran’s friend Nancy came to visit her one day. Fran remarked,”Nancy, you look just beautiful today!” “Yeah, I know” Nancy grinned, “I had a massage from Sharon yesterday!”
I have a client (I'll call Danny) who has been coming for a massage practically every week for the past 20 years.
He gambles a lot and is actually very lucky and wins most of the time. One evening he was getting a massage and
he says to me, "I had a dream about you last night." Now I have no worries about Danny, so I laught and say,
"Well," he says, "I dreamed that I won the lottery and I won 100 million dollars. So I gave each of my kids 10 million, and I gave my wife 10 million, and I gave you 1 million ON THE CONDITION that you give me a massage EVERY DAY for the REST of my life .... OR the rest of YOUR life ... or at least until you retire!"
I said, "Well, that is very sweet of you, Danny! But, you know, if you gave me a million dollars, I'D RETIRE!"
(Danny's wife says he really does play the lottery and wins a lot, so get your massages while you can!)
Sometimes my dog, Shadey, likes to sleep under the massage table. People often comment on how relaxing it
is to hear her breathing. But many years ago I had an old dog named Kimberly who snored. One day as an elderly
woman was leaving after a massage she commented, "Kimberly snored through that whole massage!"
"Oh! I'm sorry!", I exclaimed.
"Oh no!" She smiled, "It was WONDERFUL! She sounded EXACTLY like my dead husband!"
I have a friend Bonnie who eats practically nothing but raw fruit and vegetables. One day she asked if, on my way
to visit her, I would pick up some organic fruit and vegetables from Meijers. They looked wonderful, so I bought
some for myself too. As I was standing in the checkout line with nothing but two orders of organic fruit and
vegetables I noticed a man in his 70's behind me who had two bags of candy, a two liter of Pepsi, a six back of
beer and a gallon of milk. I smiled athim and said, "Well no one could accuse you of being a health nut, could they?"
“Nope!” he grinned back. “I’ve had four bypasses, and my doctor says “What ever you’re doing, keep it up!’”
“Well, you know what they say about those health nuts anyway,” I smiled conspiratorially, “They’re going to feel mighty silly some day, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing!”
We laughed, and parted friends. (Though I must confess that I am a bit of a health nut, My three favorite foods are salad, fruit & yoghurt, and cookies.)
One day my granddaughter Catey, who was five at the time, was chided for being bossy. “Well who do I get to be the
boss of?” she wailed. Apparently she was feeling like she was at the bottom of the heap. So that afternoon I
invited her to receive a massage. As I began I explained, “Now Catey, when you get a massage, you’re the boss.”
“Mommy, Mommy!” she yelled. “I’m the boss!”
Now when she gets a massage she plays it to he hilt. “Oma, That’s too soft……Oma, that’s too hard…...Oma, can I smell the lotion? I want the other one......Oma, do you have different music....? I especially like her latest, “Oma, will you please fluff the covers?”
I love to tell my clients this story, so they'll understand that THEY TOO are THE BOSS!